


crawl into your atmosphere

by SheWhoWalksUnseen



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, DCTV Fluff Weekend, F/F, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Past Relationship(s), Post-Season/Series 03, Samantha Arias Deserved Better, Sharing Clothes, This somehow turned from fluff to angst to fluff so..., and so did Ruby and Alex thank you for coming to my TED talk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-17
Updated: 2018-11-17
Packaged: 2019-08-06 15:54:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16390703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SheWhoWalksUnseen/pseuds/SheWhoWalksUnseen
Summary: Alex figured she deserved to be selfish, just this once. To hell with the consequences when she got to see Samantha Arias smiling down at her like she was sunshine incarnate, her hair haloed around her head in the dim light of the bedroom before she crushed their mouths together.





	crawl into your atmosphere

**Author's Note:**

> People expressed interest in an AgentReign fix-it I mentioned a while back and I figured I ought to write something fluffy to give my girls what they deserved last season. So…here you go.
> 
> I may have combined Day 2: Hurt/Comfort with Day 3: Clothes Sharing (Or Stealing). Because I can.
> 
> Title comes from David Cook's "Heroes".

“I didn’t hear you come in.”

Alex couldn’t quite contain her startled jerk, barely recovering in time to rescue the glass of wine before she dropped it altogether. A brief flash of deja vu struck her, memories of sneaking into the kitchen with Kara when they were in high school and relearning each other after years of strained bitterness, giggling under their breath while the microwave popped at a snail's pace. Granted, Kara had been more fascinated by the popcorn itself, even after years on a foreign planet she had to call home, eyes alight with delight when the bag expanded despite Alex's teasing.

She laughed a little incredulously, in part at the memory and the surprising wave of wistfulness that followed, shaking her head at Sam's crooked grin. "I think you've been taking notes from Ruby on how to sneak up on a girl. One of these days you two are gonna give me a heart attack."

"You? Dying from a heart attack?" Sam walked closer, stray hairs escaping her half-hearted attempt at a bun and framing her cheeks. “I find that hard to believe.”

“Oh, really?”

“Absolutely.” Sam leaned her hip against the counter, folding her arms across her chest.“It's too...boring. Knowing you, you’d probably wind up getting yourself killed fighting an alien army or some terrorist on National City.”

“At least I’d be going out fighting.”

Sam’s grin twitched. “Yeah, bet you’d love that.”

Alex set the wine glass down beside her with a snort. She hadn’t laughed in a while, not with everything that had been happening. The Worldkillers. Kara’s mom. Winn.

Reign.

Her own grin started to fade.

It hadn’t been that long, but between figuring out her new position at the DEO and the aftermath of everything, there was no running from the tentative call Sam made one afternoon less than a week after Reign, asking if she’d be able to pick up Ruby from her game because she was swamped and she really didn’t mean to bug her when everything was so busy but -

Alex remembered laughing then, under her breath, just a small snicker, but it was something. It was more than she’d dare give for anyone after…

She buried those thoughts in one swift motion, shoving them far beneath the earth and forcing her grin back onto her face, strained and fragile. “So, what’re you doing up? Isn’t it three in the morning?”

Sam raised an eyebrow. “That’s rich, coming from the woman who isn’t answering my question about breaking into my house.”

Fair point.

“It’s not breaking in if you have a key.” She tapped her jacket pocket where it rested. Sam's eyes followed the movement with ease, though her brow pinched as she did so. Alex wondered if Sam had even remembered giving her the key, their cheeks pink from the cold as Sam thrust it into her hands and murmured a quiet, “You spend enough time at our place anyway, it'd be silly not to give you a key.”

How Sam refused to accept her nervous resistance, brown eyes imploring, latching onto her own when she tried to duck away.

Alex remembered shaking her head and running the pads of her fingers over the metal, the jagged ridges uncomfortable enough to ground the babble threatening to overwhelm her lame tongue. How she'd met Sam's eyes and drew out a “Well, I suppose if I  _must_.”

“And here I thought you said you’d never use it.”

Alex’s chest did - something. That something she didn’t want to name.

She _had_ said it.

Multiple times.

Mostly because she hadn’t wanted to intrude, not after the first couple of check-ins with Ruby and Sam had turned into fitting soccer games in her busy schedule, dropping everything when Ruby called her quietly in the middle of the night about her mom having _those_ nightmares again.

Alex wasn’t supposed to be here. She wasn’t supposed to see Ruby growing up, not like this, not after everything she and Sam had gone through. Taking advantage of the situation, of everything she’d wanted with Maggie and couldn’t bring herself to give up…

It wasn’t fair.

As if sensing that Alex’s mood was shifting, Sam’s expression began to droop like a wilted flower. She sighed, running a hand through her stray hairs. Without the smile, she looked lost, bags barely hidden under makeup she’d never washed off, tight lines creasing her forehead. Alex wanted to smooth them away with her fingers like she used to show Kara when she’d been fascinated by the phenomena of Play-Doh (which, like the popcorn incidents,  _plural_ , was both adorably sweet and utterly hilarious).

“I… I couldn’t sleep. Figured I’d get a drink.” She nodded toward the wine. “Looks like you already got that idea, though.”

“Yeah, ah, sorry. I should - ” Alex made an aborted move to dispose of the glass but Sam held up a hand.

“It’s okay. Pour me a glass and we’ll call it even.”

Well. She could never refuse an opportunity like that.

Alex smirked and spun instead to the cabinets to grab a glass and the bottle of red wine she’d put away minutes earlier. She heard Sam move behind her, socked feet padding near-inaudibly on the tile floor.

“What’s with the break-in, then?” Sam asked. “Don’t tell me you ran out of wine in your kitchen and came to steal mine.”

“If I had, I would’ve gotten it myself,” Alex promised, uncorking the bottle.

“Uh huh, sure.”

Alex glanced over and her smirk grew against her bidding at the glimmer of mischief behind those brown eyes. “I mean it. I’m no thief. Wouldn’t want to interrupt your sleep schedule just for a drink.”

“Then what’s really bothering you?”

Alex poured the wine and handed the glass to Sam, not meeting her eyes. She could feel the weight of the other woman’s stare pinning her to the spot.

“That’s the real question, isn’t it.” She took her own glass and swirled the wine with a small twist of her wrist. She watched the dark red flutter around the glass like a tide on the verge of rolling onshore, unable to breach the surface fully before it crashed against the bottom.

It wasn’t just the Worldkillers and losing one of her best friends and having to adjust to all the changes in her life. Or even losing one of the best women she’d ever known over a decision she’d agonized over for who knew how long. It’d been a long time since she’d felt like her life was in order, like everything she knew was finally settling into place in the appropriate folders for her to sort through later, color-coded and all. With Maggie, she’d thought she had that and then she’d lost her and another chance to be happy.

Sometimes she wondered if she ever would be happy.

But then she went to one of Ruby’s soccer games and cheered her on as Sam teased her about starting fights with middle schoolers, and spent dinners at the Arias house and stayed up with Ruby when she or Sam had nightmares - not that the latter had admitted to it or allowed Alex to comfort her.

She played board games with Ruby - though they both agreed Monopoly was a no-no after the spat they'd had last time; honestly, Kara would've been proud of the laser-eyed death glare on that kid - on nights Sam was up late at L-Corp and couldn't get away from work. She corralled Ruby into going to bed when homework got the best of her, when the stress was too much to handle, and talked to Sam about helping her daughter with the infuriating math problems the next morning.

There was no mistaking the spark and jolt every time Ruby smiled at her, hugged her like she was someone more than a family friend or babysitter or...whatever she was. What was she to them?

 _What was she to_ Sam _?_  whispered a meek voice in the back of her mind, the same one that had hissed  _friends, friends, friends_ once upon a time when she met Maggie.

Alex hadn’t been to her own apartment for more than a few hours, not for anything other than sleeping and eating breakfast in over a week. She was being selfish and she knew it, on the account of both Ruby and Sam, but she couldn’t stay at her place. Not when that aching hollowness deep in her chest gnawed at her insides, not just from the absence of what might've been but everything she _wanted_.

“Hey.” A hand fell on her shoulder, the warmth of her fingers grazing Alex’s bare collarbone. She nearly jerked away at the touch and swallowed hard as she met Sam’s softening gaze. “You can tell me.”

“It’s not - ” Alex took a sip and lowered the wine glass, biting her lip. “It’s not anything bad, I just… It’s hard. To stay at the apartment, sometimes. I mean, I’m busy and it’s not - it’s not important to stay there when I’ve got things to do.”

“Rest is also good,” Sam reminded her. “Which sounds hypocritical coming from me, but you can’t run yourself ragged. Take it from a super-mom.” She tilted her head. “Huh. Could’ve taken that as a superhero name. Dunno if it sounds better than _Reign_ , though.”

“Guess not. But she also wasn’t you.”

Alex immediately hated herself for bringing the subject up, but, despite the joke, Sam seemed to guess she'd walked into a comment like that. Her brow darkened and she turned away, knuckles paling around the glass, a strong grip that could've once shattered the stem. 

They hadn’t talked about the elephant in the room since...well, since Reign had been defeated. Even Ruby hadn’t named the Kryptonian when warning Alex about the night terrors, simply murmuring that she knew her mom was having a hard time sleeping “but she won’t talk about it, not even to me”.

“Sam,” Alex said, her voice low. “She’s gone. You’re safe.”

Sam shut her eyes and laughed, an empty, bitter sound that cut through Alex’s chest like a serrated knife, the ridges of the key in her pocket. “Yeah. Yeah, you’d think so.”

Panic surged and she moved closer. “Wait, are you saying - ”

“No. No, she’s not _back_ , I’m fine,” Sam assured her. “Really. I'm okay. Just...it feels real. Reliving it at night. Everyone I hurt. Everyone I _killed_. And _Ruby_ \- ” She pressed a hand to her mouth and her hand began to shake as her voice cracked. “I could’ve killed my own _daughter_ , Alex. I… How could I...”

Alex set down the glass and pulled Sam to her, wrapping her arms around her neck with Sam’s glass between them. Sam sucked in a sharp breath but she only wasted a moment before hugging her back with her free arm, pressing her face into Alex’s shoulder. Her nose rubbed against Alex’s neck, her hands clutching the back of her sweater in an iron grip.

“That wasn’t your fault,” Alex whispered. Sam made a noise as if to protest but Alex shushed her softly. “You weren’t in control. Reign wasn’t you, and now she’s gone. You and Ruby are safe.”

“All those people,” Sam said weakly. “I hurt _so many_ people.”

“And that _wasn’t_ your fault. You can’t change the past but you can move forward. Live your life.” Alex squeezed Sam’s shoulders and resisted the urge to rest her chin on top of Sam’s head. “There’s a lot of evil in the world. The only thing we can do is fight back. Show the world who’s boss. And that boss? Is a badass mom with a great job and an incredible kid who loves her more than anything.”

Sam gave a wet laugh. “Badass, huh?”

“You are,” Alex affirmed, perhaps too quickly given how Sam quieted. “You’re smart and kind and you don’t let anyone get in your way when it comes to protecting Ruby. Not even an alien who wants to destroy the world.”

Sam pulled back, though she didn’t leave Alex’s grasp. They were inches apart, their breaths mingling as Sam studied her with an inscrutable expression. Alex wondered if her cheeks were flushed, maybe from the alcohol, maybe from the proximity. The kitchen suddenly felt ten degrees warmer.

There was that _thing_ in her chest again - that feeling that she’d only experienced around Maggie, back before she knew what it was, before she put a name to the talons clawing at her insides and shredding them to ribbons due to nerves.

This had to be some form of karma, some sin she needed to repent.

“And you deserve better than to bury yourself in work and pretend you’re not mourning your ex,” Sam murmured, a thin smile painting her lips.

Alex’s spine stiffened before she could hide the knee-jerk reaction. She made to step back but Sam grabbed her wrist, light, and loose so as not to cage her in (though the latter gave her a few _unnecessary_ thoughts). It took a herculean effort not to duck her head or run.

“I never told you about that.”

Sam’s smile turned into a wince for a second. “Ruby...may have mentioned some things the other night. I think she was trying to calm me down, in her defense.”

“Right.” Alex felt every brush, every flicker of skin against hers like a brand. Sam’s thumb came to a halt over her pulse point and her heart stuttered in its tracks. “That’s not… That’s not why I’m here.”

“I didn’t say that.” Sam put her glass on the counter and took the other wrist in hand, giving both a squeeze. “I get it. Fighting back and all that, right?”

Had Sam moved closer? She could smell the lavender of her shampoo in her curls, faint, likely from hours earlier before the tossing and turning grew too much to bear.

She hated comparing her to Maggie, but with the temptation of burying herself in Sam - in her hair, in her arms, her warm, sad, _knowing_ gaze - rising, she failed to tamp down on the memories of waking up with someone pressed against her side, kissing her temples.

She wasn’t mourning Maggie herself still. Not really, at times like this. Having someone to hold and have, though - that loss hurt more than anything.

Especially when she shouldn’t be taking advantage of that someone’s generosity and fears.

“I get it,” Sam repeated. “You said it yourself, you have to move forward. Even if it hurts.”

Alex tugged and Sam let her wrists fall, watching as Alex scrubbed a hand over her face. The kitchen light highlighted those deep-set bags, something close to disappointment crossing Sam’s face.

“What a pair we are, huh?” Alex couldn’t help the dry chuckle that left her lips. She turned away, clearing her throat around the lump knotting itself together. “I, uh… I should go. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t - I should - ”

“Alex.”

“If you need me to drive Ruby tomorrow to practice, just, give me a call.” She put her glass in the sink with the rest of the dirty dishes - yet another dinner she’d been invited to and hadn’t turned down. “I don’t mind, really. But it’s late, and we should sleep. Doesn’t do either of us good to stay - ”

Sam spun her around with gentle hands and Alex, unable to help herself even now because all those metaphors of moths and flames bore accuracy she loathed to name, let her. Still, she opened her mouth to object, to push Sam away because clearly _Alex_ couldn’t do anything of the sort to save them both, and found those hands cupping her face, tracing her cheekbones like she was a precious gem. Alex met Sam’s eyes questioningly and saw the same stubborn set to her jaw that Kara got when she was told not to do something dangerous.

The sense of foreboding and  _did I fuck this up_  were the only hints she received before chapped lips skimmed hers, a feather-like touch that left her gasping into the barely-there kiss. She felt like a child having their first semblance of a kiss, a peck on the cheek on the playground in kindergarten that hardly counted. Her heart kicked into overdrive and before she knew it, the press was gone.

Alex opened her eyes. She hadn’t realized they were ever closed. Sam, whom had started to pull back, tensed with pursed lips as she scanned Alex’s face.

The uncertainty creeping into her eyes was unacceptable.

Something _snapped_ in her limbs and the next thing she knew, she was pushing Sam against the counter, hands tangling in her hair as she kissed her with every fiber of her being thrumming like a live wire (and wow, bad time to be thinking of supervillains, even if she was technically kissing one). She hadn’t kissed anyone in a long while and it probably showed; their teeth clashed for an uncomfortable moment as Alex pushed further into Sam’s space, desperate and aching with her hands trembling from the sheer _relief_ flooding her. Sam must have felt it too because she kept shoving back, locking onto Alex’s hips with a strength that was almost Kryptonian as she tilted her head _just so_ and deepened the kiss with a sigh.

Alex had never wanted something - someone - so badly, so much that it physically _hurts_. She never quite got the whole “drunk off someone’s kiss” cliche until now, with lips dragging over hers and skin crackling like embers under her hands.

She moaned quietly into the kiss and felt rather than heard Sam laugh at her eagerness, how she pulled Sam closer by the nape of her neck, fingers tangling in what hair she could and probably pulling more free from her bun in the process. Sam retaliated by sweeping her tongue across her lips boldly.

They both had to draw back for breathless giggles, Alex’s insides popping like champagne as she leaned her forehead against Sam’s. She slid her hands down the other woman’s neck and felt her heartbeat spike at the irregular beat under her fingertips.

“You really don’t do anything by halves, do you, Alex Danvers?” Sam said. The bemusement and blatant satisfaction coloring her tone did _wonders_ for Alex’s insides, her toes curling at the near-purr.

“You started it,” she shot back, ducking in to press another kiss, a much slower imitation of Sam’s first hesitant brush. It took effort not to sway into a deeper kiss once more, especially as Sam moved her fingers to hook around Alex’s belt loops. “Though I'm not complaining. Guessing this means you want me to stay, then.”

Sam knocked her nose against hers in mimicry of an Eskimo kiss, and Alex smiled wider than she had in what felt like years. “I guess you could say that,” Sam whispered. “But only if you can be quiet.”

Alex leaned back and scoffed. She considered it a solid win when Sam sucked her lower lip in with her teeth, not bothering to hide her mirth. “Oh, it’s _on_ , Arias.”

Make that two wins, since the taunt earned her another, longer make-out session.

 

***

 

Alex figured she deserved to be selfish, just this once. To hell with the consequences when she got to see Samantha Arias smiling down at her like she was sunshine incarnate, her hair haloed around her head in the dim light of the bedroom before she crushed their mouths together.

 

***

 

Ruby walked down the stairs, halfway through pulling her jersey over her stomach, and froze at the bottom step with a frown.

It wasn’t unusual to find her mom cooking breakfast early in the morning, and lately, she’d been waking up earlier and earlier to do so, as if she were trying to distract herself rather than lie in bed on a Saturday morning until eleven like a normal human being. Ruby suspected it was the nightmares, but no amount of pestering or trying to trick her mom into going to bed early seemed to help.

So, the pancakes weren’t out of the ordinary. Her stomach growled at the smell alone, whining for her to hurry and grab a plate while they were hot.

No, it wasn’t the pancakes.

(Also, wow, they really did smell great. Was that blueberry?)

Her mom never had company over in the morning, save for a couple instances where friends like Lena stayed for a couple of nights at her mom’s insistence.

She certainly never invited _Alex_ over. Asked her to join them for meals, yes, even if the agent had to drive earlier than she was used to waking to eat light breakfast with Ruby before driving her to school.

But.

Well.

Alex didn't seem tired. Or ready to head out the door to soccer practice.

Ruby blinked twice, just to be sure, but the familiar head of red hair was indeed in their kitchen, coffee cup in hand and wearing a shirt that Ruby swore was one of her mom’s old university sweatshirts. The baggy blue somehow suited her, cuffed at the elbows so her hands weren't dwarfed (why her mom insisted on wearing a sweatshirt bigger than her was beyond her comprehension, honestly).

Alex paused on her way to the fridge to nudge her hip against her mom’s, smirking, and Ruby squinted as her mom _beamed_.

In a gray sweater with sleeves two inches too short.

Uh huh.

“You’re ridiculous,” her mom said, the words coming out as a laugh. Her eyes kept flitting to Alex’s lower - _oh, jeez_ , _it was too early for this_. “You know she’s gonna come down any minute now. What am I supposed to tell her?”

Alex, who still had her back facing them both, shrugged and reached for the orange juice with her free hand. “The truth? I mean, have you really never had anyone over?”

Her mom grimaced and Ruby, despite her internal scream fest, sympathized. She’d asked the same question often when she was in elementary school when she saw all the dads coming to pick up their daughters at the car loop, scooping them into the air and tickling their sides.

“I mean…”

“Never?” Something she was reluctant to call awe crept into Alex’s voice.

“I… I didn’t have any time. And I’m busy - I mean, you know how it is.”

“Still,” Alex said, dropping the orange juice on the counter and half-turning to face Ruby’s mom, “surely she’d understand.”

“She’s in middle school!”

“She’s also not blind,” Ruby chimed in, relishing in the way her mom whipped around in ill-concealed horror and Alex choked on her coffee. “And, by the way, could you ogle her butt anywhere _but_ the kitchen, Mom?”

Alex cocked an eyebrow, though her cheeks were stained a brilliant red. “ _Ogle_?”

“Ruby!”

She dropped her soccer bag beside the kitchen table as she crossed the room, rolling her eyes at her mom’s spluttering. “Hey, you’re not even trying to hide it.”

“I - ” Her mom pinched the skin above her nose and picked up the pancake flipper in the other hand. “Never mind. One problem down, I guess.”

“About time too,” Ruby muttered. She snatched the nearest plate with pancakes on it and stuck her tongue out at Alex when the woman mock-pouted halfway to the same plate. “Do you know how hard it is not to laugh when your teammates keep asking when your ‘two moms’ are going to date?”

“They didn’t - ”

“Oh, huh,” Alex said, her brow furrowing in thought. “That explains why Harley's mom kept giving me these weird looks the last couple games. I thought she was just mad about the yelling.”

“You do get loud when you get into sports you don’t understand.” Her mom shook her head and Alex’s face brightened at the tease. Ruby hid her smile as she sat at the table.

Really. And they thought they were being subtle before now.

“Hey, I only cheered for the opposite team the _one time_.”

“We all make mistakes,” her mom said in a sing-song tone.

“And you _did_ try and fight the referee about how I didn’t have a ‘foul’,” Ruby added, unable to hide her laughter when Alex turned her glare onto her.

“I said it once and I’ll say it again: nightmare kiddo.”

Ruby waggled a fork at her as her mom finished plating the rest of the pancakes and Alex moved to bring the plates to the table. “Uh-uh. Not allowed to diss your girlfriend’s kid. Who’s to say I’ve approved yet?”

“Oh, you have to approve of who I date now?” Her mom turned off the griddle with an apprehensive look that only a true mom could pull off.

“As you said, you haven’t dated in…” Ruby glanced at Alex and winced. “Well, never, as far as I know.”

Alex grinned and sat across from her, fingers embracing her knife in a way that suggested she could easily impale someone with it. Not that she would. Though, that’d be awesome, now that Ruby thought about it. “What, my cool brownie points from before don’t count?”

“That remains to be seen.” Alex looked like she was holding back another laugh and Ruby leaned forward, taking a moment to swallow her first (delicious) bite of blueberry pancake before she lowered her voice. “And if you do hurt my mom, no brownie points or free carpools to soccer games will be able to save you.”

“Ruby,” her mom chided, but she could see something akin to understanding pass over Alex’s face, for the briefest split-second, and the grin softened into a more tender curl of her lips.

Just because they both knew Alex was an agent who could easily kick her butt while lecturing her about skipping out on science work didn’t mean _she_ couldn’t lecture her right back.

They both knew how hard the last months had been.

“Don’t worry,” Alex said, her eyes darting to her mom as she approached before they returned to lock on Ruby’s once more, the affection in her stare almost gag-worthy, “you have full approval to kick my butt if I ever do.”

Her mom's stern gaze thawed, her worry lines vanishing as if erased by one of those “Big Erasers for Big Mistakes” she'd begged her mom to get her back in fourth grade from the book fair. She'd tease her about glowing, but that was for later. After they made it to the game and the gooey, doe-eyed looks finally got to her, after they stopped worrying about what would come next.

Ruby hadn't seen her mom happier, lighter, in...well, for lack of better terms, never. Even with her, there was always the strain and the worry and uncertainty - then fear when Reign took control with steely fists. Fear of hurting her, of doing the wrong thing, of getting sucked into work and her memories for too long.

If it took pecks on the cheek as they made it out the door at last, coy looks she pretended not to notice for their sake...

Let's just say Ruby knew what the squeeze around her shoulders really meant when her mom opened the car door.

If anyone could get her mom to smile more than she had in years, it was a certain Monopoly-cheating secret agent girlfriend.

**Author's Note:**

> Come scream with me on my DCTV Tumblr @areyouscarletcold. Comments are always appreciated, and have a great day!


End file.
